I quite like music. In fact, I really like music. In fact, more than that, I think it's fucking important. You're on my page now, where I'm going to be writing about it, in all its wonder.
To clarify before we start: this isn't going to be a massive collection of rants about the myriad sub-Keane bands (hands up who didn't realise that 'sub-Keane' existed as a genre?) that now infest our airwaves. Naturally, there will be a bit of that - Snow Patrol are dreadful. Really dreadful. And apparently the world needs to be reminded. Predominantly, though, this is going to be a positive experience - this is going to be a reminder that music doesn't have to be monotonous, 'oh-my-god-if-I-can't-be-Radiohead-can-I-at-least-be-Muse' shite.
We're going to talk about CSS, who are, by the way, your new favourite band; we're going to talk about Cajun Dance Party, who are young enough to make you cry for a lifetime lost, but good enough to make you cry again, in a much better way; we're going to talk about The Shins, who have been around forever, are fucking brilliant, and have still sold fewer albums than Gary Lightbody has friends; and we're going to talk about the hideously monikered Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly. who, despite being a bit of a baby-Bono pious twat, and having saddled himself with one of the worst band names in history has managed to create an album of (mostly) heart-breaking beauty and sincerity. And he's even better live.
So check your cynicism and your Coldplay albums at the door, and come on in. This is Liverpool in the 60s, London in the 70s, Manchester in the 80s and Wales (yes, Wales) in the 90s. It's a fucking party, and it's going to be top. Welcome. Come in. Chuck your coat in the bedroom. Grab a beer. Let's get mashed and dance like twats. Hurrah!
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2 comments:
I eagerly await the results of this blog.
We should also be talking about Quantic Soul Orchestra.
Good call on all t'other bands, btw.
Well here's the thing. Snow Patrol are, in essence a bad band. But it's all a case of defining terms. I'd rather listen to them then listen to rap, Jazz, Belgian House or some of this Deep South psuedo-creedence swamp-rock bollocks such as Kings of Leon. Give me rain-swept British misery any day.
But it depends what your basis for comparison is. It's easier to find superlatives when talking about the some of the greats (Zeppelin, Floyd, the Manics, U2) and when you compare them to Snow Patrol they (SP) pale into insignificance. But they are all much more successful than Snow Patrol, and rightly so.
What gets my heckles up is when a band suddenly explodes into the public consciousness on a wave of hype and draped in the Emporer's New Clothes with which the NME bestowed them. Snow Patrol never had this. They sing polite ballads of angst framed in slightly sketchy musicianship, and have a fairly steady following. A poor man's Travis, if you will. So I don't hate them. In fact the collaboration with Martha Wainwright on their last album made it into my collection.
In comparison Mick Hucknell, though clearly a twat, is an excellent singer - from a town which simply doesn't make them (name one other good singer from Manchester) and, though his songs are fairly awful, there is at least an element of talent there. So I don't hate either of the two - I see them both in a different light, and treat them objectively.
Coldplay and the Arctic Monkeys, however, are cunts. Complete, utter, total, jam-their-fingers-into-an-industrial-shredder-so-that-they-never-play-again, cunts. I could fart a better tune than Chris Martin sings, and that warbling, unsteady falsetto of his makes me want to run someone over every time I hear it. Alanna knows more chords on the guitar than the witless fucking imbecile that fronts the Arctic Monkeys, and they are just another example of the music press chucking idiots into the limelight to try to find another Oasis.
This, then, is my distinction. I've no beef with rubbish bands who never find success, but what I find galling is bands who, despite obvious musical ineptitude, are suddenly riding high in the charts on a wave of nothing but hype, journalistic column-filler and walrus shit. Only now is Noel Gallagher becoming a reasonably good guitarist.
Snow Patrol, sorry Dan, are an average band, destined for modest success, and Hucknell is a good singer, but a bit of a penis, who sings rubbish songs. Coldplay and the Arsehole Monkeys would, in any sane world, be tied to a wind farm in the North Sea and poked in the eyes with rhubarb throughout the daylight hours by a team of midgets on jetpacks.
Sorry about the language.
Actually I'm not.
Jerry
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